Life as I see it: Rantings of nonsensical shizz in life...

So since I have come back from my blogging hiatus, might as blog about a thing or two.

So life. Life is complicated as it is. But I like to view life as simple. The simple life. Life with no troubles. Life with no drama. Fortunately, that is what exactly life is. Simle. Unfortunately, humans are not simple beings. Humans, who live lives that are too simple, find it boring and soon creates drama. Humans are the ones who make life complicated. Are you complicated?

What I realise in my life's journey is that what you see, might not be what you get. What's on the surface, may not be what it is underneath. People masquerade as someone else at least half of the time, if not all the time. We put on masks to address different situations or different people. We behave differently when we are with friends than when we are with our family members. We behave differently when we are with our grandparents than when we are with our teachers.

So who are you? What are you hiding? Who are you trying to be? Who are you trying NOT to be?

One thing I discovered about myself is that I offer a sincerity. I offer my sincere self to others and hope as much sincerity in return. Unfortunately, I learnt that not everyone offers sincerity in return. People often have hidden agendas behind a beatiful wide smile. The have certain motives, attacking and twisting others in order to achieve their goal, while in the process, bringing others down and hurting their feelings. Do you feel like you're winning? Congratulations to you then. I hope you feel proud.

I am certainly happy and glad that I have found myself friends who are just as sincere as myself and I treasure them and I held them dearly to my heart. They offer me no harm, but true, sincere friendship, just as much as I would return them the same. Living with my naitivity and trusting self in society doesn't do me much good considering the number of people with hidden agendas. I sometimes feel insecure living on my own, fearing of being manipulated in others' mind games. Therefore, I feel guarded to have my friends with me as they offer me a sense of protection and trust. Thank you my honest friends. You SHOULD know who you are ;)

Everyday of living our lives is a day of learning more about ourselves. How we react to different situations, how much of patience can we withstand, how we interact with people, how we manage our emotions. How much do you know about yourself?

I can admit that I don't know myself well enough. Perhaps it is because I am still young and immature and there are so much more that I need to experience in order to understand myself. Or perhaps I am still changing, and not fixed to a certain behaviour or character just yet.

What I can say is, I am still so much more. There are still numerous layers of myself that needs to be peeled away to expose the core, shedding away sheets of protection to reveal who I really am. So who exactly am I? How important am I to you? What am I to you? What do you expect from me?

I might not exactly be a very open person as I still keep alot of my thoughts and feelings to myself. But I am starting to wonder if all this is going to cost me. Am I a shadow that floats through in other people's life? A transparent being, whose mere presence is so that others can spill their hearts to, a listening ear, a blank wall to be painted on, a reliable companion whose sole purpose is so that others don't feely alone, a person to drag around with without having a real use, an empty box that others can fill their opinions in...who am I? What am I?

I am here. I am present. I am now. I am an open book hiding behind a naked mask. I am me. Lost and found. Present and past. Child and adult. Immature and sensitive. Confused and sure. Scared and bold. Sincere and sarcastic. Emotional and cold. True and masquerading. Alive and well. Living and breathing. Laughing and loving. My presence counts. And you'd better agree. *smirks*

I don't know where this post is going or where the main point is. This is just some ranting and observations of my own. My perspective. I'm sorry if you felt like you've wasted 3 minutes of your life reading through that. If you've skipped the whole thing to here, you clearly don't think I'm important. Better not wave to me the next time I see you, cuz I'll be ignoring you. Gaha~

To lighten things up, here are some random photos for your viewing pleasure.